Civility is like pornography.
That got your attention – didn’t it?
To paraphrase the late US Supreme Court Justice, Potter Stewart, in his infamous concurring opinion on the threshold for pornography in Jacobellis v. Ohio (1964):
“Civility – You know it when you see it.”
So, what is civility?
Civility is more than good manners. Civility is not just proper etiquette. Civility involves more than being nice.
Civility is all about RESPECT.
According to Dr. P.M. Forni, “being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint… respect… and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness.”*
Civility is a form of goodness; civility means treating people with dignity and decency.
Civility is not merely attitudinal. It is much more than a mind-set. ‘Wanting’ to be civil is like ‘wanting’ to get into shape – civility has no value unless you work at it.
Some of the many behaviors associated with Civility are:
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Conversely, Incivility has been described as:
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A simple definition of incivility might be bad behavior characterized by a lack of consideration for others.
Acts of incivility come in many different flavors. Some of these behaviors are merely annoying; most bruise and wound the human psyche.
At the end of the day, being uncivil is being a Jerk!
When considering the advantages of civility in the workplace, maybe the first question should be: “Whom would you rather work for?” An arrogant, abusive, demeaning, or rude boss OR a leader that leads with compassion…decency…fairness…and respect for others.
Civility is a critical component for leadership greatness. Treating people with respect and dignity enhances the quality of our organizations and our lives.
* Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct, P.M. Forni, St. Martin’s Press, NYC, 2002.
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